Dating apps are great for meeting new people in your area. Luckily for everyone who’s out there in the dating world, the swiping options on apps like Tinder and Bumble can narrow down your search to less than a mile. This means you can find that hottie who lives close by and ask him or her out. Now, dating a hot neighbor sounds great and all, but hold on a second! What happens when this hot neighbor fantasy of yours doesn’t work out and turns into a damn nightmare?
I had my own experience with dating someone in my building and I only considered the benefits.
- He was a hottie
- He was less than 1 mile away and fell into my short swiping radius
- Did I mention he was hot?
Looks aside, the thought of not having to drive far for a date (because I hate driving) or having to put much effort into which side of town we would go to for date night was really enticing. So basically, I was being lazy.
I never once considered the first date negatives that went along with this. I never asked myself any questions like:
“He’s going to know where you live now. What if the date goes bad and he ends up being a stalker?”
“You’re both going back to the same building at the end of the night. What are you going to do when you go your separate ways?”
If I would have thought this through a little more and recognized that the long-term negatives far outweighed the possibility of having a connection with someone 2 floors above me, I wouldn’t have gone out with him. Do yourself a favor and if you see your neighbor on any dating app out there, take a big swipe left and expand your settings so that you don’t end up dating a neighbor by mistake. If I haven’t convinced you that you shouldn’t date a neighbor, hopefully these reasons below will be enough.
1. The chances of this working out are slim and the aftermath is going to be awkward.
Prior to your first date, you may not have noticed this person around town. But I can guarantee that the second this relationship, fling, or whatever the hell it turns into, goes south, you’ll run into them all the time and it’s going to be weird.
When you do happen to have that awkward encounter, my advice is to acknowledge their existence and then go back to living your life. Because let’s be honest, no one is moving anytime soon.
2. If you do end up dating, say goodbye to the mystery of the relationship.
Think about it, the fun part (outside of actually getting to know them) in the beginning is wondering what they’re up to, hoping they’ll text back and taking the time to plan upcoming dates. That mystery is gone when they live next door, and it probably won’t get any better. They’ll show up unannounced and the little personal space you once had will be gone. You could also start resenting the fact that they always know where you’re at and what you’re doing.
3. The feelings you might have for this neighbor are probably based on proximity and not anything substantial.
We tend to form relationships with people we see all the time, and that’s not always a good thing. We hang out with coworkers outside of work and become friends with people at the bar we frequent because it’s convenient. When you take a step back and look at the reasons why you like this neighbor of yours, determine if it’s genuine or if it’s just because they feel familiar and safe.
Our grandparents and maybe even our parents might have found significant others through convenience (read: laziness) like this, but beware. I’m not saying go out and only date people that live in BFE, but be smart about it and weigh your options.